It’s Not a Candy Bar in the Pool

            One big area of my firm’s practice is representing skilled tradespeople. We have a Load of contractors, electricians, plumbers, landscapers, fuel oil contractors, masons, and environmental engineers. Quite commonly, these skilled folks provide their services, and unfortunately, are met with customers who are Junk, and they then Refuse to pay their debts.

            We received what would be a routine environmental engineering matter, from my client “Carl Spackler Services” who rendered services at a residential pool house and gazebo, owned by a family whom I shall refer to as the “Caddyshack” family. The Dump of backup documentation sent over to us to review, showed that the services rendered were an inspection, followed by remediation of an environmental condition. First, the condition caused a huge Waste of time spent dealing with a governmental environmental inspection violation, as a result of a plumbing Sewage issue. Number Two, the Caddyshacks owed several thousand dollars to the environmental company to clean up the Debris, in order to comply with the health code, and also ensure that their fancy-schmancy pool was Fecal-free. 

            What made this particular matter more Messy, is that I actually know the Caddyshacks from the general Gotham community. They are known to Excrete a special brand of elitism in my area of world, as if they sit on a Stool higher than the rest of the community.  They are the kind of family who would never Soil themselves to deal with the blue-collar tradespeople that I embrace as my clients, which is likely what led to their Sloppy handling of the environmental regulations. Unfortunately for them, it was not a mere candy bar in the pool.

            I disclosed the slightly Muddy conflict of interest to Spackler and I consulted an ethics attorney that I know. Spackler didn’t give a Poop, and the ethics attorney didn’t Urge me Eliminate the case, as there would be no ethical violation, merely because I am familiar with the Caddyshacks in the community. It’s not like I spent any time with them socially, or have any Dirt on them.

            So, we took the case, and sent that first initial demand letter. I took a small amount of joy in signing it, wondering if there would be a Constipated look on their faces to see my name on the letter.

            But, alas, we never got that far. Within nine days of me Dropping the letter in the mail, we received the Full payment. I was So Happy I Took the case.